IT Jokes :: (01)

1. Children's  school. English  classes. Teacher said:

   - Today we learn the alphabet. He say this A- B - C - D - E ...

      One child stood up and asked:

   - The keyboard – where are you see them?

2. Child of programmer's question:

   - Dad, what notation?

   - How does that mean ... listen, midi files, notation is written on paper.

3. Q: Why does a programmer love a computer more than his wife?

Debate about the box

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trying to set up a fenced-in area for some sheep, but they have a limited amount of building material. The

Engineer gets up first and makes a square fence with the material, reasoning that it's a pretty good working solution.

 "No no," says the physicist, "there's a better

way." He takes the fence and makes a circular pen, showing how it encompasses the maximum possible space with the given material.

Refrigerate Elephants

Analysis:

1. Differentiate it and put into the refrig. Then integrate it in the refrig.

2. Redefine the measure on the refrigerator (or the elephant).

3. Apply the Banach- Tarsky theorem.

Number Theory:

1. First factorize, second multiply.

2. Use induction. You can always squeeze a bit more in.

The results of statistics

1. Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed

2. All polar bears are left-handed

3. If your car is stolen, there's a 10 percent chance it was taken by a Polar

bear

1. 39 percent of unemployed men wear spectacles

2. 80 percent of employed men wear spectacles

3. Work stuffs up your eyesight

Two plus two is five

"First and above all he was a logician. At least thirty-five years of the half-century

or so of his existence had been devoted exclusively to proving that two and two always equal four, except in unusual cases, where they equal three or five, as the

Case may be." -- Jacques Futrelle, "The Problem of Cell 13"

Most mathematicians are familiar with -- or have at least seen references in the

Literature to  --  the equation 2 + 2 = 4. However, the less well known equation 2 + 2

= 5 also have a rich, complex history behind it. Like any other complex quantity, this

History has a real part and an imaginary part; we shall deal exclusively with the latter here.